S09E12: Depressing News
Klinger's army newspaper reports on Hawkeye's monument to military stupidity; a giant tower made from a half million erroneously shipped tongue depressors.
Previous Episode 
Season 1
Pilot
S1E1 / 17 Sep 1972
To Market, to Market
S1E2 / 24 Sep 1972
Requiem for a Lightweight
S1E3 / 01 Oct 1972
Chief Surgeon Who?
S1E4 / 08 Oct 1972
The Moose
S1E5 / 15 Oct 1972
Yankee Doodle Doctor
S1E6 / 22 Oct 1972
Bananas, Crackers and Nuts
S1E7 / 05 Nov 1972
Cowboy
S1E8 / 12 Nov 1972
Henry Please Come Home
S1E9 / 19 Nov 1972
I Hate a Mystery
S1E10 / 26 Nov 1972
Germ Warfare
S1E11 / 10 Dec 1972
Dear Dad
S1E12 / 17 Dec 1972
Edwina
S1E13 / 24 Dec 1972
Love Story
S1E14 / 07 Jan 1973
Tuttle
S1E15 / 14 Jan 1973
The Ringbanger
S1E16 / 21 Jan 1973
Sometimes You Hear the Bullet
S1E17 / 28 Jan 1973
Dear Dad...Again
S1E18 / 04 Feb 1973
The Longjohn Flap
S1E19 / 17 Feb 1973
The Army-Navy Game
S1E20 / 25 Feb 1973
Sticky Wicket
S1E21 / 04 Mar 1973
Major Fred C. Dobbs
S1E22 / 11 Mar 1973
Ceasefire
S1E23 / 18 Mar 1973
Showtime
S1E24 / 25 Mar 1973
Season 2
Divided We Stand
S2E1 / 15 Sep 1973
5 O’Clock Charlie
S2E2 / 22 Sep 1973
Radar’s Report
S2E3 / 29 Sep 1973
For the Good of the Outfit
S2E4 / 06 Oct 1973
Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde
S2E5 / 13 Oct 1973
Kim
S2E6 / 20 Oct 1973
L.I.P. (Local Indigenous Personnel)
S2E7 / 27 Oct 1973
The Trial of Henry Blake
S2E8 / 03 Nov 1973
Dear Dad... Three
S2E9 / 10 Nov 1973
The Sniper
S2E10 / 17 Nov 1973
Carry On, Hawkeye
S2E11 / 24 Nov 1973
The Incubator
S2E12 / 01 Dec 1973
Deal Me Out
S2E13 / 08 Dec 1973
Hot Lips and Empty Arms
S2E14 / 15 Dec 1973
Officers Only
S2E15 / 22 Dec 1973
Henry in Love
S2E16 / 05 Jan 1974
For Want of a Boot
S2E17 / 12 Jan 1974
Operation Noselift
S2E18 / 19 Jan 1974
The Chosen People
S2E19 / 26 Jan 1974
As You Were
S2E20 / 02 Feb 1974
Crisis
S2E21 / 09 Feb 1974
George
S2E22 / 16 Feb 1974
Mail Call
S2E23 / 23 Feb 1974
A Smattering of Intelligence
S2E24 / 02 Mar 1974
Season 3
The General Flipped at Dawn
S3E1 / 10 Sep 1974
Rainbow Bridge
S3E2 / 17 Sep 1974
Officer of the Day
S3E3 / 24 Sep 1974
Iron Guts Kelly
S3E4 / 01 Oct 1974
O.R.
S3E5 / 08 Oct 1974
Springtime
S3E6 / 15 Oct 1974
Check-Up
S3E7 / 22 Oct 1974
Life With Father
S3E8 / 29 Oct 1974
Alcoholics Unanimous
S3E9 / 12 Nov 1974
There is Nothing Like a Nurse
S3E10 / 19 Nov 1974
Adam's Ribs
S3E11 / 26 Nov 1974
A Full Rich Day
S3E12 / 03 Dec 1974
Mad Dogs and Servicemen
S3E13 / 10 Dec 1974
Private Charles Lamb
S3E14 / 31 Dec 1974
Bombed
S3E15 / 07 Jan 1975
Bulletin Board
S3E16 / 14 Jan 1975
The Consultant
S3E17 / 21 Jan 1975
House Arrest
S3E18 / 04 Feb 1975
Aid Station
S3E19 / 11 Feb 1975
Love and Marriage
S3E20 / 18 Feb 1975
Big Mac
S3E21 / 25 Feb 1975
Payday
S3E22 / 04 Mar 1975
White Gold
S3E23 / 11 Mar 1975
Abyssinia, Henry
S3E24 / 18 Mar 1975
Season 4
Welcome to Korea
S4E1 / 12 Sep 1975
Change of Command
S4E2 / 19 Sep 1975
It Happened One Night
S4E3 / 26 Sep 1975
The Late Captain Pierce
S4E4 / 03 Oct 1975
Hey, Doc
S4E5 / 10 Oct 1975
The Bus
S4E6 / 17 Oct 1975
Dear Mildred
S4E7 / 24 Oct 1975
The Kids
S4E8 / 31 Oct 1975
Quo Vadis, Captain Chandler
S4E9 / 07 Nov 1975
Dear Peggy
S4E10 / 11 Nov 1975
Of Moose and Men
S4E11 / 21 Nov 1975
Soldier of the Month
S4E12 / 28 Nov 1975
The Gun
S4E13 / 02 Dec 1975
Mail Call, Again
S4E14 / 09 Dec 1975
The Price of Tomato Juice
S4E15 / 16 Dec 1975
Dear Ma
S4E16 / 23 Dec 1975
Der Tag
S4E17 / 06 Jan 1976
Hawkeye
S4E18 / 13 Jan 1976
Some 38th Parallels
S4E19 / 20 Jan 1976
The Novocaine Mutiny
S4E20 / 27 Jan 1976
Smilin' Jack
S4E21 / 03 Feb 1976
The More I See You
S4E22 / 10 Feb 1976
Deluge
S4E23 / 17 Feb 1976
The Interview
S4E24 / 24 Feb 1976
Season 5
Bug Out
S5E1 / 21 Sep 1976
Margaret's Engagement
S5E2 / 28 Sep 1976
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
S5E3 / 05 Oct 1976
Lt. Radar O'Reilly
S5E4 / 12 Oct 1976
The Nurses
S5E5 / 19 Oct 1976
The Abduction of Margaret Houlihan
S5E6 / 26 Oct 1976
Dear Sigmund
S5E7 / 09 Nov 1976
Mulcahy's War
S5E8 / 16 Nov 1976
The Korean Surgeon
S5E9 / 23 Nov 1976
Hawkeye Get Your Gun
S5E10 / 30 Nov 1976
The Colonel's Horse
S5E11 / 07 Dec 1976
Exorcism
S5E12 / 14 Dec 1976
Hawk's Nightmare
S5E13 / 21 Dec 1976
The Most Unforgettable Characters
S5E14 / 04 Jan 1977
38 Across
S5E15 / 11 Jan 1977
Ping Pong
S5E16 / 18 Jan 1977
End Run
S5E17 / 25 Jan 1977
Hanky Panky
S5E18 / 01 Feb 1977
Hepatitis
S5E19 / 08 Feb 1977
The General's Practitioner
S5E20 / 15 Feb 1977
Movie Tonight
S5E21 / 22 Feb 1977
Souvenirs
S5E22 / 01 Mar 1977
Post Op
S5E23 / 08 Mar 1977
Margaret's Marriage
S5E24 / 15 Mar 1977
Season 6
Fade Out, Fade In
S6E1 / 20 Sep 1977
Fallen Idol
S6E2 / 27 Sep 1977
Last Laugh
S6E3 / 04 Oct 1977
War of Nerves
S6E4 / 11 Oct 1977
The Winchester Tapes
S6E5 / 18 Oct 1977
The Light That Failed
S6E6 / 25 Oct 1977
In Love and War
S6E7 / 01 Nov 1977
Change Day
S6E8 / 08 Nov 1977
Images
S6E9 / 15 Nov 1977
The M*A*S*H Olympics
S6E10 / 22 Nov 1977
The Grim Reaper
S6E11 / 29 Nov 1977
Comrades in Arms: Part 1
S6E12 / 06 Dec 1977
Comrades in Arms: Part 2
S6E13 / 13 Dec 1977
The Merchant of Korea
S6E14 / 20 Dec 1977
The Smell of Music
S6E15 / 03 Jan 1978
Patent 4077
S6E16 / 10 Jan 1978
Tea and Empathy
S6E17 / 17 Jan 1978
Your Hit Parade
S6E18 / 24 Jan 1978
What's Up, Doc?
S6E19 / 30 Jan 1978
Mail Call Three
S6E20 / 06 Feb 1978
Temporary Duty
S6E21 / 13 Feb 1978
Potter's Retirement
S6E22 / 20 Feb 1978
Dr. Winchester and Mr. Hyde
S6E23 / 27 Feb 1978
Major Topper
S6E24 / 27 Mar 1978
Season 7
Commander Pierce
S7E1 / 18 Sep 1978
Peace On Us
S7E2 / 25 Sep 1978
Lil
S7E3 / 02 Oct 1978
Our Finest Hour
S7E4 / 09 Oct 1978
The Billfold Syndrome
S7E5 / 16 Oct 1978
None Like It Hot
S7E6 / 23 Oct 1978
They Call the Wind Korea
S7E7 / 30 Oct 1978
Major Ego
S7E8 / 06 Nov 1978
Baby, It's Cold Outside
S7E9 / 13 Nov 1978
Point of View
S7E10 / 20 Nov 1978
Dear Comrade
S7E11 / 27 Nov 1978
Out of Gas
S7E12 / 04 Dec 1978
An Eye for a Tooth
S7E13 / 11 Dec 1978
Dear Sis
S7E14 / 18 Dec 1978
B.J. Papa San
S7E15 / 01 Jan 1979
Inga
S7E16 / 08 Jan 1979
The Price
S7E17 / 15 Jan 1979
The Young and the Restless
S7E18 / 22 Jan 1979
Hot Lips Is Back in Town
S7E19 / 29 Jan 1979
C*A*V*E
S7E20 / 05 Feb 1979
Rally 'Round the Flagg, Boys
S7E21 / 14 Feb 1979
Preventative Medicine
S7E22 / 19 Feb 1979
A Night at Rosie's
S7E23 / 26 Feb 1979
Ain't Love Grand
S7E24 / 05 Mar 1979
The Party
S7E25 / 12 Mar 1979
Season 8
Too Many Cooks
S8E1 / 17 Sep 1979
Are You Now, Margaret?
S8E2 / 24 Sep 1979
Guerilla My Dreams
S8E3 / 01 Oct 1979
Good-Bye Radar: Part 1
S8E4 / 08 Oct 1979
Good-Bye Radar: Part 2
S8E5 / 15 Oct 1979
Period of Adjustment
S8E6 / 22 Oct 1979
Nurse Doctor
S8E7 / 29 Oct 1979
Private Finance
S8E8 / 05 Nov 1979
Mr. and Mrs. Who?
S8E9 / 12 Nov 1979
The Yalu Brick Road
S8E10 / 19 Nov 1979
Life Time
S8E11 / 26 Nov 1979
Dear Uncle Abdul
S8E12 / 03 Dec 1979
Captains Outrageous
S8E13 / 10 Dec 1979
Stars and Stripes
S8E14 / 17 Dec 1979
Yessir, That's Our Baby
S8E15 / 31 Dec 1979
Bottle Fatigue
S8E16 / 07 Jan 1980
Heal Thyself
S8E17 / 14 Jan 1980
Old Soldiers
S8E18 / 21 Jan 1980
Morale Victory
S8E19 / 28 Jan 1980
Lend a Hand
S8E20 / 04 Feb 1980
Goodbye, Cruel World
S8E21 / 11 Feb 1980
Dreams
S8E22 / 18 Feb 1980
War Co-Respondent
S8E23 / 03 Mar 1980
Back Pay
S8E24 / 10 Mar 1980
April Fools
S8E25 / 24 Mar 1980
Season 9
The Best of Enemies
S9E1 / 17 Nov 1980
Letters
S9E2 / 24 Nov 1980
Cementing Relationships
S9E3 / 01 Dec 1980
Father's Day
S9E4 / 08 Dec 1980
Death Takes a Holiday
S9E5 / 15 Dec 1980
A War for All Seasons
S9E6 / 29 Dec 1980
Your Retention Please
S9E7 / 05 Jan 1981
Tell It to the Marines
S9E8 / 12 Jan 1981
Taking the Fifth
S9E9 / 19 Jan 1981
Operation Friendship
S9E10 / 26 Jan 1981
No Sweat
S9E11 / 02 Feb 1981
Depressing News
S9E12 / 09 Feb 1981
No Laughing Matter
S9E13 / 16 Feb 1981
Oh, How We Danced
S9E14 / 23 Feb 1981
Bottoms Up
S9E15 / 02 Mar 1981
The Red/White Blues
S9E16 / 09 Mar 1981
Bless You, Hawkeye
S9E17 / 16 Mar 1981
Blood Brothers
S9E18 / 06 Apr 1981
The Foresight Saga
S9E19 / 13 Apr 1981
The Life You Save
S9E20 / 04 May 1981
Season 10
That's Show Biz
S10E1 / 26 Oct 1981
Identity Crisis
S10E2 / 02 Nov 1981
Rumor at the Top
S10E3 / 09 Nov 1981
Give 'em Hell, Hawkeye
S10E4 / 16 Nov 1981
Wheelers and Dealers
S10E5 / 23 Nov 1981
Communication Breakdown
S10E6 / 30 Nov 1981
Snap Judgment (1)
S10E7 / 07 Dec 1981
Snappier Judgment (2)
S10E8 / 14 Dec 1981
'Twas the Day after Christmas
S10E9 / 28 Dec 1981
Follies of the Living - Concerns of the Dead
S10E10 / 04 Jan 1982
The Birthday Girls
S10E11 / 11 Jan 1982
Blood and Guts
S10E12 / 18 Jan 1982
A Holy Mess
S10E13 / 01 Feb 1982
The Tooth Shall Set You Free
S10E14 / 08 Feb 1982
Pressure Points
S10E15 / 15 Feb 1982
Where There's a Will, There's a War
S10E16 / 22 Feb 1982
Promotion Commotion
S10E17 / 01 Mar 1982
Heroes
S10E18 / 15 Mar 1982
Sons and Bowlers
S10E19 / 22 Mar 1982
Picture This
S10E20 / 05 Apr 1982
That Darn Kid
S10E21 / 12 Apr 1982
Season 11
Hey, Look Me Over
S11E1 / 25 Oct 1982
Trick or Treatment
S11E2 / 01 Nov 1982
Foreign Affairs
S11E3 / 08 Nov 1982
The Joker is Wild
S11E4 / 15 Nov 1982
Who Knew?
S11E5 / 22 Nov 1982
Bombshells
S11E6 / 28 Nov 1982
Settling Debts
S11E7 / 06 Dec 1982
The Moon is Not Blue
S11E8 / 13 Dec 1982
Run For the Money
S11E9 / 20 Dec 1982
U.N., the Night and the Music
S11E10 / 03 Jan 1983
Strange Bedfellows
S11E11 / 10 Jan 1983
Say No More
S11E12 / 24 Jan 1983
Friends and Enemies
S11E13 / 07 Feb 1983
Give and Take
S11E14 / 14 Feb 1983
As Time Goes By
S11E15 / 21 Feb 1983
Goodbye, Farewell and Amen
S11E16 / 28 Feb 1983
Alan Alda
Hawkeye Pierce
Mike Farrell
B. J. Hunnicutt
Harry Morgan
Sherman Potter
Loretta Swit
Margaret Houlihan
David Ogden Stiers
Charles Winchester
Jamie Farr
Cpl. Maxwell Klinger
